I was at dinner on the first night I arrived in North Carolina for She Speaks, deep into conversation with my new friend Megan. We had an instant connection, and we didn’t mess around much with the small chat, but as writers, we dove down deep into our stories.
And then she asked me something.
“What’s it like to be Brenna’s mom?”
I knew it wasn’t a surface question that I was supposed to answer with a general “things are good!”
“Overwhelming,” I answered after a minute.
“And a privilege.”
Indeed, it is my overwhelming privilege to be the mother of these two beautiful children that God has entrusted to me. And it is an overwhelming privilege to care for my daughter, day in and day out.
In the beginning of Brenna’s life, I prayed a lot for her life. I prayed for purpose, I prayed that she would influence good and bring people closer to God.
And I thanked God, even in the most devastating times and even in the most stressful times, for choosing me, for giving her to me.
I don’t know that I would have had the strength and understanding to choose her for my daughter… so I am grateful that God chose me for her instead. He knew that we needed each other.
It is a privilege to care for my baby girl.
With each Aquaphor application, several times a day, it is a privilege to bring relief and moisture to her dry skin. To smooth lotion over her tightened skin as we talk and sing and kiss.
With each bath, despite her cries, it is a privilege to minimize her daily discomfort.
As I carefully scoop skin out of her ear canals each evening, it is a privilege to enhance her hearing.
With every cuddle when she is sick, it is a privilege to wrap her in a blanket, giving her warmth and love and touch.
And with every new word, new bite to eat, new milestone, it is a privilege to be her encourager and her biggest fan.
It is an overwhelming privilege to be the one chosen to teach her pride and dignity and respect… to help give her self-assurance and strength… to guide her through life… … to be her protector and her advocate.
It is an overwhelming privilege to be given each of these days to love my children as big and as fiercely as I can.
Thank you, God, for this gift of motherhood that is so overwhelming and so beautiful – it is my privilege.